Leaf Blowers Should Be Illegal

OK, I know this is going to be controversial, but I think anyone who uses a leaf blower should be sent to prison and subjected to some sort of nasty torment.

I just can’t imagine the incredible mental retardation of anyone who would purchase a device that requires fuel to the tune of $3.30/gallon to operate for the purpose blowing leaves off his property and into the street. Especially, when those same leaves haven’t suddenly become immune to gusts of wind and are just as likely to return to his yard when the wind blows next.

Now back in the stone ages when I was a kid, we had these nifty devices called rakes. You’d drag the rake over the lawn and collect the leaves in a process called “raking”. Once you’d collected the leaves in to a nice big pile, you’d flop down into it spreading them all over the yard again, collect them again, flop down into the pile again, and finally tiring of the immense joy inherent in jumping into a leaf pile, rake up the leaves one last time. Then you’d bag the leaves into large black plastic sacks and put the sacks by the curb to await the trash collection.

Of course, if your parents had a garden, you might instead take the leaves to the compost heap where magic would occur to turn the leaves into stinky top-soil. My parent’s compost heap was really only a place to dump our grass clippings, but I seem to also recall dumping our leaves there.

Still, in a world where we’re rapidly approaching peak production of oil, it seems incredibly stupid to waste that oil on a pointless process like blowing leaves into the street. So write your congressman and tell him to make leaf blowers illegal. It’s about time he got off his fat ass and did something useful for a change.