Decimated Closet

This weekend I finally worked up the courage to tackle all the wrong-sized clothes in my closet. After losing 50+ pounds, there were any number of jeans and shirts that enveloped me in tent-like folds of cloth. Specifically, there were 5 large garbage bags full of clothing that had to be taken to Goodwill.

The process was quite difficult. I’ve always been remarkably careful about keeping my cloths in good condition – everything except underwear is washed in cold and dried on medium heat. As a result, many of my favourite shirts are close to a decade old. But when I started hanging my new size medium shirts next to my double extra large shirts, I knew something had to be done.

My first pass removed any shirt in the double extra large category and any dress shirt with a neck size greater than or equal to 17 inches (I now have a 16.5 inch neck). This meant every dress shirt had to go. Also, a dozen casual shirts found their way, reluctantly, to the heap. I reserved the second pass for extra large shirts which clearly were too big. This included all of my favourite geek camo shirts (as my wife lovingly, I hope, refers to them). At the end of it all, I was left with a mere ten shirts – including the four I’d bought the day before.

I also reluctantly added two suits, a sport coat, all but one pair of dress pants, and four Autumn/Winter jackets to the heap. I reserved one Winter jacket, because otherwise I wouldn’t have anything warm to wear in the event of a cold snap. I also held back my tuxedo. I just have a problem donating a $600 tuxedo to Goodwill. I know it will never fit me again. But I’d rather be certain it will find a good home.

The funniest item was my old Bill Blass overcoat. It was so big that Anna and I were able to put it on together. Really. She put her arms down the sleeves with me and we buttoned it up. We looked ridiculous.