Unexpected Holiday

I don’t think it’s any secret that this holiday season hasn’t been what we expected — starting off with the blizzard when we took Molly home from the hospital. We never expected she would suffer from something like Acid Reflux (or whatever it really is that causes her to wake up screaming) and I never expected I’d be feeding my daughter Maalox from an eye-dropper.

I certainly never expected to feel like a failed parent so soon. Nothing makes you feel more helpless than to hold your child while she screams bloody murder for fifteen minutes — all because you have no idea what might be wrong with her. Like many other men, I have this compulsion to fix things, but there’s no fixing Molly. We don’t even know what’s broken.

However, as many have already said, we have a beautiful daughter who we love very much. And if Anna’s own infancy is any guide, Molly will grow out of her problems.

Let’s hope next year brings just as much Joy but without nearly as much frustration and worry…

Molly: 1, Parents: 0

Well, we survived our first week with The Bean, and here are some pictures to prove it (click for further details):

Parenthood, Week One: What I Have Learned

Here are ten things that childbirth and new parenting have taught me this week:

1. There is no better lesson in humility than being buck naked and surrounded by mostly strangers as they watch a small critter work its way through out of your most private girly bits.

2. To be humbled is to become a parent when you have no previous experience with infants.

3. New baby smell is a hundred times better than new car smell. Except for the whole diaper thing…

4. Breasts actually have a purpose greater than attracting and entertaining members of the opposite sex.

5. Modesty has no place in breastfeeding. Especially when other women are squeezing your breasts in order to help you figure out how exactly to use them for that purpose.

6. Nothing boosts the self-esteem like the weight loss post-pregnancy, especially in large quantities (ex. I just lost 30 lbs in a week.) That is, of course, until you realize that you still have nearly 30 more to go. Yikes!

7. A newborn infant’s cry is to sound what lasers are to light.

8. A man crossing the Sahara on foot still knows not the thirst of the nursing woman.

9. A well-fed infant resembles either a miniature stoner or a drunken one-eyed pirate.

10. All babies are heart-breakingly beautiful. Especially mine.