No Brow, High Brow, Low Brow (Part 1)

“NO BROW”

My buddy “Hellboy” is tying the knot next month (!), and his parents are throwing a couple’s shower this weekend. In honor of this event (and frankly, because I was starting to look like a early Beatle- shaggy and thick-browed), I decided to get a haircut, brow wax, and buy myself some new duds.

First stop, a local salon. I had been there once before, and was impressed with the work done by the stylist. I had been even more impressed when she was genuinely amused at the picture I brought in for inspiration- Mia Farrow in Rosemary’s Baby.

However, this time I had my own horror-inducing experience. Let me just preface by saying that I have never had a professional waxing of any kind. I did enlist the help of a friend (male) once to perform a very amateur wax of my legs, but it was so tramatic, I have never wanted to do it again. Until now.

We chatted a bit while she applied the first dribble of wax. “That seems a little warm,” I said. “Oh, sorry,” she replied.

She proceeded to rip out the offending cro-magnon-esque hairs from my brow in the appropriate fashion. As each section was pulled, I flinched a bit, and she smiled, admitting that she could only imagine how difficult it was going to be for her when she had hair removed from a slightly more sensitive location later that evening. Too much info perhaps, but it made me feel less wimpy.

Then she applied a cooling gel to my brows, but it felt like they were instead on fire. “Damn,” I thought, “I AM a wimp after all.”

While she skillfully cropped my hair ala Rosemary, I remarked that it looked like I was wearing bright pink eyeshadow. After the haircut was finished, I noticed that the area above my left brow was still quite red. Upon closer examination, I saw that there was a nice little burn line.

I pointed it out to her, and she and her supervisor both said, “Wow! That’s never happened before.” She apologized profusely, and thanked me for not getting angry. If I thought she did it intentionally, I might have yelled and screamed and inflicted bodily harm upon her. But, given that she didn’t charge me for the new “tough” puffy-eyed look, it didn’t seem necessary.

She called later to apologize again, and to offer suggestions for treatment.

At least she didn’t accidentally remove all of my brow…