Easter Sunday Surprise

1 day after period is due.

I spent the day with Mom, and ate more ham than I ever thought humanly possible. Jeff returned to Newburyport.

Just for the heck of it, I took a pregnancy test that evening.

TWO PINK LINES !?!?

This can’t be right, I thought. I was happy, and numb, and alone. I had no phone, and it was too late to call anyone anyway.

I decided to buy more tests the next day, but sleep then, as I must have been dreaming…

Alien Love-Child Double Feature

Period due, but no period arrives.

Dream 1:

An alien has been implanted in me, and proceeds to download all of the information stored in my brain, especially language info. My eyes roll back in my head as this happens rapidly.

Dream 2:

I am Sandra Bullock transporting test tubes filled with alien DNA (2 different kinds) in a plane/helicopter. The aircraft malfunctions, and I am forced to bail, climbing down a net. In the process, one of the test tubes in damaged, and the species of alien to which it belongs has come to Earth to kick our butts.

In the meantime, I combine the contents of the test tubes (One blue and the other red) to create a new alien species. This ends the threat to us and creates a truce between the two warring alien species.

When You Watch Too Many Movies…

1 day before period due.

I had a very strange dream that I was being chased by man-eating trees. A cross between Evil Dead II and The Wizard of Oz. Trees would trip us with their roots, grab us with their branches and eat us. Only I was able to outrun them.

Flash forward a few years. I am a triathlete with a ponytail. Think Linda Hamilton from Terminator 2. I am also a botanist and professor.

I return with my students to firebomb the evil, possessed woods.